I was born and brought up in Hampstead, a very expensive part of North London, my older sister and I wanted for nothing. My father was a trader in the city and my mother was a stewardess for British Airways. I attended one of the most exclusive girls schools in London and was a straight A student. I was pretty, with fair hair, perfect, soft skin, deep blue eyes and a body that was maturing perfectly. I was very popular at school and had started to become popular with the boys from the nearby boys school. Despite my popularity, some pushing from friends, and some boys persistence, I’d never gone any further than kissing and having my boobs fondled. That was all set to change shortly after my 15th birthday. By then I was 5’4, size 8 with 30b chest and some nice curves. I’d been dating an older boy called Samuel. He was 17 and also lived in Hampstead. His father was a judge and mother a barrister. My parents massively disapproved because of the age gap and his reputation for being a bit of a bad boy, but this only made me even more attracted to him. Samuel had also recently passed his driving test and his parents had brought him a brand new Porsche 911. The weekend after he got the car he wanted to take me out in it. I knew my parents wouldn’t allow it so I arranged a sleepover at my best friend Charlotte’s house. Straight after school on Friday we headed for Charlotte’s house where we spent the evening eating pizza, dancing around her room and watching films on Netflix. She also told me about her and her boyfriend having sex and was trying to convince me to have sex with Samuel. I told her I was considering it and was definitely going to let him go further than kissing me and fondling my boobs. It was the early hours before we fell asleep.

Next morning Charlotte and I got the tube to the Westfield Shopping Centre where we bought some new clothes and I got some lingerie for my date with Samuel. We then had lunch before we headed back to her house. Once there I showered and put on a tight navy blue crop top and dark blue Guess skinny jeans that showed off my butt perfectly. Underneath I wore a sexy matching black lacy bra and bikini knickers that I’d bought that morning. It was the first set of sexy lingerie I had and I knew my Mum would disapprove, but I would deal with that later. As it was a cool, early summer evening I finished my outfit off with a tight, dark red and blue, long sleeved, checked plaid shirt, from Superdry, and blue canvas Toms on my feet. Once I’d finished my hair and makeup Charlotte told me I looked amazing. It was just after 5 when Samuel arrived, I made sure Charlotte would still cover me if my parents rang, then ran outside to meet him. I stopped and gave him a confused look when I saw that instead of his Porsche there was a convertible Aston Martin with the roof down.

‘Nice, but where’s your car?’ I asked Samuel as he opened the car door for me.

‘Some dick crashed into me on the way home from school yesterday so Dad leant me his.’ Samuel answered before leaning down, putting his arms around me and giving me a long kiss. Samuel was 6’2, well built and captain of the rugby team. I was tiny compared to him, and felt even smaller in his arms, a feeling that, bizarrely, I found I liked. When he pulled his lips away from mine I hesitated a moment then sat myself in the car, Sam shut the car door, walked around to the drivers side, jumped in and started the car. The throb of the big engine vibrated through my small body as I put on my seat belt. I giggled as he accelerated hard, forcing me back into the sumptuous leather seat. He guided the car through Saturday afternoon London traffic while I slid my sunglasses on and relaxed.

‘Where are we going?’ I asked.

‘It’s a surprise.’ He replied accelerating hard from a set of lights making me squeal again. We were soon on the outskirts of London and as the speeds started to build so did the wind blowing my hair around, which I wasn’t impressed with, didn’t he know how long I’d spent getting it perfect for him.

‘Sam, as cool as it is, can you put the roof up please, I’m being blown around too much.’

‘Sure babe, besides, it’s going to get even blowier soon.’ He replied as he pulled the car over onto the side of the road where he reached up to the top of the windscreen and pushed a button. I heard a series of clicks behind me then a motor whirred into life. In a few short moments the roof nestled into place and the motor stopped. Samuel then closed the windows, turned on the climate control and accelerated hard back into traffic.

He continued driving for about an hour before we arrived in Brighton, where Samuel found somewhere to park. He turned the car off, jumped out, ran round to my side, opened the car door for me and helped me out. Once the car was locked he took my hand and we started walking along the promenade and onto the beach. We walked for about 10 minutes before Sam guided me across the street and into a little Italian restaurant. I slid my sunglasses up onto my head as we were shown to a seat in the window overlooking the beach. As he stood waiting for me to sit I noticed how handsome he looked. He had dark hair, with the brightest green eyes, was unshaven and wearing tight, dark blue chinos and a red, long sleeved shirt which hugged his chest showing off his muscles. I noticed the buttons strained against his tight chest as he sat. I could barely take my eyes off him. Eventually I pulled my eyes away and looked at the menu. Once we’d ordered we sat chatting. We both found it so easy to talk and there were no awkward silences. Once the food came I found it difficult to eat as I was nervous about what might happen later.

‘You ok? He suddenly asked nodding at my still full bowl of pasta.

‘Oh, err, yeah I’m fine, just had a big lunch with Charlotte.’ I replied as I tried to eat some more. Samuel smiled in reply. I eventually managed to eat about half the bowl before I couldn’t manage anymore. He, however, had cleared his plate. Afterwards we shared a piece of chocolate cake between us, though he ate most of it. Once we were finished Samuel paid the waiter and we left the restaurant. As soon as we were outside he took my hand tight and we walked over to the beach where we took a seat on a bench. We sat watching the beautiful sunset while kissing each other, our tongues probing deeply into each others mouths. I felt his hand gently massaging one of my boobs over my top which felt wonderful as my nipple hardened to his touch. Once the sun had set he pulled away, took my hand again and we walked into the busy town, which was full of people heading into pubs, bars and clubs. He stopped at a tourist shop and bought us matching friendship bands, which we put onto each other wrists. As we left the shop it had started to get cold making me shiver so Samuel cuddled me to him as we walked back to the car. He held the door for me and helped me in then got in himself, started the car and pulled out of the car park.

Once we were out of Brighton and onto the dual carriageway he rested one hand on my thigh while leaving the other on the steering wheel. I looked over to see him glance at me which made me smile back. I could feel him rubbing my thigh. After a few moments I took a deep breath before I spoke.

‘We could find somewhere to stop, if you’d like.’ I said softly then bit my lip. He looked over at me and paused before he replied.

‘I’d love too but are you sure that’s what you want?’ He asked while still rubbing my thigh. I continued biting my lip and and nodded my head reassuringly. We drove for about 10 more minutes before Samuel pulled off the dual carriageway and through some villages before he found a car park at some woods. He drove the car to the furthest point, stopped and turned the engine off. The bright, low full moon gently lit the inside of the car. He undid his seatbelt then leaned over and undid mine. I leaned toward him and we started kissing hard. I felt his hand on my face slowly stroke down my neck. I pushed him away, climbed over and sat on his lap facing him then started kissing him again. I felt one arm go round my waist as his other hand gently stroked my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him, again I felt tiny against him. His hand slid softly down my face and neck onto my chest before gently rubbing my boob through my top. I could feel his hard cock against my groin so gently slid my pelvis back and forward making the tip rub along my pussy lips through my jeans. I pulled away again and undid the buttons of my shirt which I then pulled off and threw into the footwell of the car. I then pulled my crop top off which joined my shirt.

‘Wow.’ Samuel gasped looking at my bra.

‘Do you like it? I bought it this morning.’ I replied smiling.

‘Yes, very much.’ He replied.

‘Good.’ I replied as I leaned forward and whispered into his ear. ‘I got matching knickers too.’

‘Wow.’ He gasped in reply before he went back to kissing me hard. I felt his cock harden further so I reached down with one hand and started rubbing it over his chinos making him groan. I felt his hand start massaging my boob again, this time it felt so much better through the thin lacy material of my bra, which he soon pushed up over my boobs.

‘You can take it off.’ I whispered before returning to kissing him. I felt both hands wrap around my back and unhook my bra which quickly joined my tops. I then leaned back so he could get a good look. I felt my nipples harden more knowing he was the first guy to ever see them. He reached his head up and started kissing my chest so I decided to be more brave and undid his shirt revealing his defined chest and abdomen. I stroked his chest with both hands while taking it all in. He suddenly took my nipple into his mouth making me gasp and go limp. It felt wonderful. I leaned my head back pushing my boob further into his mouth. After a while he moved over to the other side of my chest and took that nipple into his mouth while massaging the other boob, making me gasp again with delight. I could feel a warmth spreading through my chest. I held his head tight to me and kissed the top of it. The warmth got too much so I pushed his head away, climbed off him and onto the passenger seat. He watched me get comfortable and smiled at me, I realised I should have felt awkward laying in the car completely topless but there was something about Samuel that made me feel so safe and comfortable. I smiled at him again then undid my jeans and slowly wiggled them down, over my hips and butt then onto my thighs and past my knees. Samuel seemed to stare at my knickers and naked thighs before he slid his own shirt off then leaned over and started kissing me again. I could feel him fidgeting and realised he was pulling his chinos and boxers down. I gasped when I saw his massive, fully erect cock, it must have been almost 10 inches and very thick. I’d never seen a cock before but I was sure this was an impressive example. He’d shaved off all of his pubic hair making it look even bigger. I found the switch for the seat and laid it back before reaching over and gently touched his cock. It felt huge and my hand looked tiny against it, I could barely get my fingers all the way round it. His cock twitched and hardened yet more as my hand stroked it. His kiss became more urgent as his tongue probed deeply into my mouth. He gently stroked my nipples and boobs making them tingle and causing the warm feeling spread further across my body, I could feel my boobs starting to ache. I ran my hand gently up and down his cock which seemed to react by twitching some more. I used my thumb to rub along the tip which was now wet with pre cum. He groaned each time my thumb ran along the tip. He slowly stroked down from my boobs onto my tummy until he reached the waistband of my thong. He lingered there for a moment before stroking over my knickers and onto my legs where here he stroked down the outside and over my knee. I parted my legs so he slowly stroked up the inside of my thigh. I continued working my hand up and down his massive cock, I had no idea what to do but I reacted to the noises and movements he made and he seemed to be enjoying it as the end of his cock was getting more wet. I kept running my thumb over the tip, then used the fluid as lubricant to rub my hand along his shaft. Samuel started rubbing my pussy through my knickers, a slow moan unintentionally escaped my lips as he continued rubbing and applying a gentle pressure over my thong. He slid his hand back up to the waistband then into my knickers where he gently stroked my soft pubic hair. I lifted my bum off the seat, Samuel got the hint and slowly slid my knickers down my thighs and over my knees. I awkwardly kept my left arm down by my side, not really sure what to do with it. He continued stroking and rubbing my pubic hair slowly moving his hand lower and lower, my pussy starting aching with anticipation. He moved his hand from me, sucked 2 fingers and placed it back over my pubic hair before gently stroking my pussy lips from bottom to top. I pulled my mouth away from his lips as I shivered and groaned before urgently returning my lips to his. He slowly did the same again making me shiver and grip his cock tighter. This was the first time I had even been touched down there and I was nervous but excited. I’d washed myself but never really felt or investigated my own pussy. I never used tampons only sanitary pads so had never needed to really touch myself. I’d thought about feeling myself and masturbating a few times recently but each time I wimped out. Samuel gently started to work his middle finger between my lips, in return I used my tongue to probe his mouth deeper and worked my hand up and down his cock with renewed vigour. He seemed to encounter some resistance as he tried to slide his finger into my pussy. I could feel some pressure inside my pussy as he pushed against the resistance. I recalled from sex education about the hymen covering the entrance to a girls vagina and I guessed that’s what he was pushing against. I felt something slowly tearing inside me making me wince. I lifted my left arm, wrapped it around his neck and pulled him tighter to me increasing the pressure against his lips. Samuel started using two fingers to break my hymen and as I finally tore I squealed and jumped, stopping our kiss.

‘Sorry, are you ok?’ Samuel whispered looking at me apologetically.

‘Yeah, I’m good.’ I whispered in return before leaning up and kissing him again. He urgently returned the kiss and, while I started stroking his cock again, he gently slid his middle finger into my newly opened pussy. His finger gently slid in and out my pussy, it was sore and raw at first but it soon started to feel nice. I could feel a new warmth spreading across me. I started to gently rock my pelvis in time with his thrusts. As I worked his cock harder and faster with my hand I felt something I’d never felt before. My pussy felt hot and a heat radiated across my pelvis. I felt dizzy and breathless. His cock started to twitch harder and more often. Suddenly there was a flash followed by searing pain in my lower half. Next thing I knew I was looking up at the stars and moon. I had no idea what had happened. I was aware of an intense heat, loud popping noise and bright orange, flickering glow several feet in front of me. The pain in my legs was intense and my head throbbed. I realised I was naked on the ground but couldn’t work out how or why. I tried to get myself up but couldn’t move. The throbbing in my head worsened and there was something dripping into my eyes. I went to wipe it away with my left hand but nothing happened. I started to get scared and screamed out for help. I started to lift my right hand and was relieved when I could feel my arm moving. As I brought it to my face what I saw made me freeze with terror. My hand and lower arm were missing, leaving a bloody stump. My head swam and I felt sick. I was suddenly aware of shadows running over to me shouting for me to stay still. As they approached I heard a woman scream.

‘Oh my god!’ She shouted then put a hand over her mouth in horror at what she’d seen, scaring me further. The man with her took off his jacket and laid it over me. The woman then crouched down and started stroking my head and telling me ‘it would be ok.’ I kept drifting off to sleep then waking up. I was suddenly aware of sirens and flashing blue lights and that was the last thing I remember.

I woke up in a strange room. I blinked my eyes trying to clear them. Once I could see properly I looked around and saw I was in a hospital ITU. The nurse nearby looked up and smiled at me.

‘Hi Katie, welcome back.’ She said.

‘Wha... ‘ I tried to speak but nothing happened.

‘Don’t try to speak, you have a tube in your throat to help you breath.’ She said gently. ‘I’ll get your parents.’

As the nurse left me I looked around the room. I could hear an intermittent whirring noise and looked around to find where it was coming from. I realised the noise was at the same time I could feel air being forced into my lungs and guessed I must be connected to a ventilator. I continued looking around, there were other machines beeping with digital screens that had lots of numbers on them, connected to them were cables and tubes that were attached to me. I realised my body felt strange. I tried to move my dominant left arm but nothing happened. I then tried to move my right arm, I could feel some movement but found I was too weak to move it much. Finally I tried to move my legs and again nothing happened. A few moments later my parents came running into the room, they both came straight to me and cuddled me tight. I noticed they were both crying. They were followed by the nurse and a man in a smart suit, he came over stood at the end of my bed.

‘Hi Catherine, I’m Dr Morgan, nice to finally see you awake.’ He introduced himself. ‘I’ll give you some time with your parents then I’ll explain what has happened to you and why you’re here.’

I shook my head and tried to speak again but no sound came out. I looked at my Dad using my eyes to plead with him. I had to know what had happened now, I couldn’t wait.

‘It’s ok darling, not now, later.’ Mum was stroking my hair and trying to settle me. I shook my head more, desperate to get my point across, tears were streaming down my face.

‘She needs to know, waiting will just give her time to think even worse thoughts.’ Dad said to my Mum before placing his hand on my right shoulder. ‘Baby, this will be difficult for you to hear, and if you want to stop just shake your head. Katie, You were in an explosion.’ Dad replied.

I looked at him feeling confused, I felt as though I was out of my body watching the events from above my bed.

‘Samuel’s Dad was due to be the judge on a big organised crime case, the biggest in UK history.’ Dad started gently explaining after taking a deep breath. ‘If found guilty the boss of the crime family would have gone to prison for life along with many other members of the group. Samuel’s Dad was known to be a hard judge and the family wanted a more lenient one, someone they could maybe buy off, so they planted a bomb under his car. Samuel’s Mum and Dad were due to be at a gala that night so the bomb was set to go off as they were due to leave. Unfortunately you and Samuel were using the car instead while his parents arranged a limo to get to and from the event.’

‘After the bomb went off you were thrown about 15 metres away from the car.’ The Dr had taken over from my Dad as he had started crying. ‘You were airlifted to the major trauma centre here in London where doctors worked on you for hours. Your heart stopped several times while in resus and surgery but they were able to get it started each time.’ The Dr paused for a moment to let me take that in before he continued.

‘Firstly, you had a severe head injury, so we had to perform surgery to release the pressure on your brain. Also, your left arm, right hand and both legs were severed, and there was severe damage to your pelvis and internal organs from the explosion. Once you were here the surgeons had to remove what remained of your left arm and both legs and perform some radical surgery on your pelvis. Also your lower right arm was beyond saving so that was also amputated below the elbow. To put it in simple terms Katie, I’m afraid you have no left arm at all, it’s called a shoulder disarticulation. Your right arm was amputated about mid way between your elbow and wrist. Because of the damage to your legs we had to perform what’s called a modified double hip disarticulation, which means both of your legs were completely removed, leaving you with no residual limb at all. We also had remove the lower part of your pelvis.’

I felt numb, I could barely take in what he was saying. It sounded like there was hardly anything left of my body. I started to wish I had died.

‘Do you want me to continue Catherine?’ Dr Morgan asked. I sat in silence.

‘Katie.’ Mum prompted me then turned to Dr Morgan. ‘I think she’s had enough for now.’

‘Ok, well if you need anything... ‘ Dr Morgan started to say but I shook my head. ‘Do you want me to carry on?’

‘Yes.’ I nodded and mouthed.

‘I’m afraid the damage to the lower part of your pelvis and genitals was extensive.’ He started and picked up an iPad that he’d laid down when he arrived. On it he had a picture of a pelvis and used it to demonstrate what had been done. ‘Once we had removed what was left of your legs we tried to salvage what we could of your pelvis and genitals but unfortunately the damage was too severe. We were forced to remove your vulva, along with the ischium bone, pubic bone and the acetabulum. Surgery of this kind will make sitting difficult for you and you will need to use a special cushion and chair.’

I felt numb, I couldn’t cry anymore, I felt like my life was over. I slowly nodded at Dr Morgan, not that I could really take in what he was saying.

‘This bit is quite difficult Katie, and I’m sorry if it embarrasses you.’ He started and looked at my parents. ‘But, two of your boyfriends fingers were found deep inside your uterus, I’m guessing he had them inside your vagina when the explosion happened.’

I looked confused.

‘He was fingering you.’ Mum added quite bluntly. I felt my face turn warm as it turned to crimson.

‘Well as the bomb went off it forced the two fingers up inside you tearing your cervix and causing severe, irreparable damage your vagina, cervix, uterus and one of your fallopian tubes. There was no choice but to perform a radical hysterectomy.’

I started crying again.

‘Finally Katie there was extensive damage to your rectum and colon, we performed a proctocolectomy and an ileostomy. Basically we removed all the damaged bowel and routed the small intestine to a stoma on your stomach. This means that faeces will now pass through your small intestine, through the stoma and into a colostomy bag worn on your stomach which will then need to be changed. Because of how long you’ve been in a coma and ventilated we also performed a tracheostomy which is where a hole is cut in the front of your neck and a tube is passed through it which is being used to help you breath.’ Dr Morgan finished explaining everything that had happened to me. ‘Over the next few weeks we’ll monitor you and arrange rehab. I’ll get the tracheostomy tube in your neck removed later today so that you can breath on your own and start talking. In a few days you’ll go for a CT scan to make sure there’s no damage to your brain. Once we’re sure you’re physically and mentally ready we’ll get you home.’

Dr Morgan smiled reassuringly at me.

‘Thank you Dr Morgan.’ My Dad said.

‘I’ll leave you guys to it, if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask any of the nurses ok.’ Dr Morgan said then left the room leaving the 3 of us in silence.

‘Samuel?’ I mouthed to my parents, fearing I already knew the answer.

‘Katie, he died in the explosion.’ Dad replied as he held me tighter. It was at this point I started sobbing uncontrollably, my head was swimming with what had happened to my body and my life, and what had happened to Samuel, my first boyfriend, during my first sexual experience. I realised that it would be my only ever sexual experience. Who would want a girl with 3 missing limbs, one incomplete limb, no pussy and a bag of shit they would have to change. I felt my life was over.

‘Funeral?’ I managed to mouth between sobs.

‘Katie, it’s happened already, you’ve been in a coma for nearly three months.’ Mum replied. I felt nothing anymore. After that we all fell silent, no one really sure what to say next.

Later that day I was wheeled into an operating theatre where I was put to sleep and my tracheostomy was removed. When I woke later my parents were sat next to me smiling. Most of the machines and tubes had also been removed leaving just fluids going into my arm and a catheter in my urethra. I tried to speak but my throat was dry and croaky. Mum grabbed a cup of ice chips and helped me drink some before putting the cup back on the side.

‘Let’s get you something to eat.’ Mum said trying to sound upbeat.

I tried to say no but Mum would listen. She went off in search of food and came back with a bowl of soup a few minutes later. She used the control to lift the head of the bed a little more, then started feeding me. I ate slowly and only managed a small amount but it felt good. Afterwards Mum wiped my face for me then held a cup with a straw in my mouth so I could drink. While I was eating my younger sister arrived having been dropped off by her friends Mum. After Mum cleared everything away the four of us sat in the room talking about what had happened during the three months I’d been in a coma.

Over the next couple of months the Doctors, Nurses, Physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists and counsellor helped get my strength up, taught me how how to move, how to use and transfer into and out of my electric wheelchair with its specialist cushion, and generally rehabilitated me. I also worked with a prosthetist who made me a myoelectic prosthetic hand and taught me how to use it so that I had a little independence. When I finally got to see myself in a mirror I was shocked at what I saw. My dominant left arm was completely gone at the shoulder. My neck curved into my shoulder then my shoulder stopped short and sharply curved down into my chest, there was barely a bump where my arm once was. I realised that there was barely enough shoulder to keep my bra strap up. There was a faded white scar at the top of my armpit. My right arm stopped about 3-4 inches from my elbow, ending in a rounded stump with a white scar running side to side. But it was my lower half that was the biggest shock. From my waist my hips flared outwards as usual then curved down towards where my legs once where. However, I now abruptly ended a few inches later and was essentially flat across to the other side. Where my vulva had been was now just smooth skin with massive, faded pink scars where my groin had been. They had used skin grafts from my back which had left me with two, four inch by two inch scars on each side of my spine. There was a small nub where my urethra and clitoris still were, over the next few weeks I found that if I sat in certain way it exerted pressure on my exposed, unprotected clitoris that got me warm but left me frustrated. As long as I sat on my special cushion it was fine. The smoothness of where my vulva once was continued past where my perineum had been and continued to where my anal sphincter would have been, before disappearing into what was left of my butt cheeks. My pelvis, butt, lower back and stomach were covered in small scars from the explosion and glass. There was a horizontal scar on my neck and a curved scar on my head where they’d relieved pressure on my brain. I was horrified at what I saw and again started to wish I was dead. After seeing myself I felt despair.

‘Why didn’t they let me die?’ I sobbed.

‘Catherine, you don’t mean that.’ Said Mum as she stared to cuddle me.

‘Yes I do,’ I shouted as I pushed her away with my arm stump. ‘I’m useless, no good to anyone. I have no arms, no legs, have to use a fucking wheelchair to go anywhere. I can’t do anything for myself. I have to shit in a bag and I can’t even have sex. Who, the fuck, is ever going to want me now’

‘Catherine! Stop!’ Mum pleaded, trying her best to calm me down. ‘You’re not useless, you are still beautiful... ‘

‘Beautiful!! BEAUTIFUL!!! Have you fucking seen me? I’m hideous.’ I snarled. Mum stood there dumbfounded. She must have realised there was no point in continuing to argue with me, I wouldn’t hear it, she just sat on the bed and cuddled me. I tried to fight her off me with my arm stump but wasn’t strong enough. She just cuddled me tighter and kept telling me she loved me. Eventually I softened and started crying with her. I’m not sure how long we sat that like that before I eventually spoke.

‘I’m sorry Mum.’ I said softly.

‘What for? You have nothing to apologise for.’ She said gently, wiping tears from my cheeks with her finger.

‘Yes I do, if I hadn’t lied to you and hadn’t snuck around with Samuel then this wouldn’t have happened.’ I continued sadly.

‘Katie, don’t you ever think like that. Yes, I would have been cross if I’d found out, but only because I love you and want to protect you. I know you think of me as ‘sensible Mum’ but when I was younger I did some pretty wild things. And yes, I even snuck out with boys and got my friends to lie for me.’ She laughed then leaned her head on mine. ‘It’s just part of growing up. Don’t ever feel responsible for this, you are not to blame.’