Chapter 12: Opening Salvo

Mike frowned at the Queen of the Fae. Though her entrance was dramatic, he was far more concerned with the mysterious visitors who had poked a hole in the sky directly up above. The amorphic entities squeezed around each other like beads of oil trapped between panes of glass fighting for a better view.

“So those things were in Ingrid’s head because of you?” he asked.

“No. They were in the mortal’s head of their own accord and natural curiosity. They are attracted to madness. It calls to them like a beacon. However, their proximity meant they sensed my arrival.” She looked at Mike meaningfully. “The less we acknowledge or interact with them, the better.”

“What even are they?” he asked.

Titania smirked. “I could tell you for a price,” she said. “But I know that you would feel cheated. This is a mystery that you are quite capable of solving on your own.”

Mike looked up at the eyes again, then remembered he was supposed to ignore them. Dropping his gaze back to the regal figure on the beach, he thought about what Lily had told him regarding the strange entities she had encountered in the Dreamscape. They typically lurked in dark, undefined locations, and rarely interacted with the dreamer. On the few occasions that they did, it was typically to pull them away into the dark and expose them to sheer terror.

The Dreamscape was a place that hovered right on the edge of reason. Time and space were malleable, and he could only think of one thing that would exist just past its boundaries. With their current interest in a divine being, they could only be—

“Don’t say it aloud,” cautioned Titania. “Nor even think it, not under such inauspicious stars. To do so may bring further attention upon yourself.”

He nodded his understanding. “Under these circumstances, is any conversation here actually safe?”

The faerie queen moved toward him, her wings fluttering briefly as she hopped down a dune. “The things we would speak of are beneath notice. Predators care not what sheep think unless the sheep conspire against them. I have two concerns that I would share with you.”

“Is one of them the army on my lawn?” Mike asked. “Because that’s a concern I have.”

Titania’s lips became thin like ribbons as she studied him. “That is one of my concerns, yes. I have many subjects who have brought official complaints to my court in regards to their behavior. The Order and the Sons of Sin have not treated my people very well.”

Mike nodded, but didn’t apologize. Taking the blame for the actions of others was always a terrible idea in regards to the fae. “The Order agreed to stay on my lawn and keep my home safe from harm in my absence,” he replied. “So while my hospitality extended to the grounds of my property, it did not include my home.”

“But you were aware that they would betray you?” Titania lifted an eyebrow and walked past him, the churning surf of the Dreamscape swirling around her ankles.

“I was.” Mike turned and followed the Queen of the Fae. “They gave their word, after all. Have they brought any harm to your subjects who live in my gardens?”

“Not yet. However, these mortals have been quite pushy, and more than a few have harassed the Little People. I took it upon myself to invite some to my realm. I hope you don’t mind.”

“What transpires between you and my guests is none of my business as long as they were given the choice to leave.” Mike thought his statement over, making sure he hadn’t left any technical landmines for himself. He also wanted to ask what had happened to them, but wondered if that would cross some sort of boundary. Ah, the fae. “In all honesty, the Sons of Sin were never invited. The Order took advantage of my hospitality. As far as I am concerned, the mercenaries are uninvited pests. If not for very pressing matters here, I would have given them more of my attention. I had to make a choice between two difficult tasks and only I could properly attend to the one I decided upon.”

Titania nodded. “On this, we agree.” The queen knelt down and picked up a seashell that looked like a child had bedazzled it. “You are perfectly aware that the fae take the rules of Hospitality very seriously?”

“I am.” Mike and Beth had poured over several tomes with Sofia before allowing any of the smaller fae creatures to even consider taking up residence in his yard. It was meant to be a relationship of mutual benefit, the natural magic of his home giving the fae a chance to return and live on Earth for as long as they chose. In return, they helped to care for the land along with the centaurs. “If you believe I have erred in this matter—”

“Stop.” Titania’s voice chilled him. “There is little you could say next that would not bind you.”

“I was going to say that I would not mind hearing your wisdom on the matter should you offer it freely.” He was at the queen’s side now.

“Hmm.” Titania tucked the shell into one of her sleeves and turned to face him. “In some ways, you think very much like my people.”

“Your words are kind,” he replied. This made Titania smirk. “You said you had two concerns. Certainly you did not come all this way to speak of the bad behavior of my guests.”

“I did not. I speak now of the...” Titania paused, then her golden eyes flicked toward the sky. “Hmm. Perhaps I’ve underestimated them. How odd.”

Mike looked up to see that the hole in the sky had been stretched wider, and was packed full of shapeless entities. He reached out with his will to pull the hole shut, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“I wouldn’t,” she said. “Don’t let them know you are aware they’re here.”

“They’re looking in my head, though.”

“I shall keep this conversation brief, then.” She tilted her head so that she faced the ground. “Even my presence here should not have collected so many.”

“That makes me feel...” Mike had been about to say better, but remembered who he was talking to. “Uncomfortable.”

“As it should. It has come to my attention that you finally discovered what the dragon Di has been up to these last few centuries.” Titania smiled, showing plenty of teeth. They looked sharper than usual. “I was curious to know what you were planning to do with them.”

He shrugged. It wasn’t something he had given much thought to. Between the information being new and the problem of Captain Francois, there hadn’t even been much time to discuss with anyone what he actually wanted to do with the eggs.

“I haven’t planned anything,” he said.

“Of course you haven’t.” Titania sighed. “Are you even aware what sort of treasure you currently possess?”

He bit back a sarcastic reply. “I will admit I know very little,” he said, casting a wary glance skyward once more. “But if what I’ve been told is true, it sounds like I could theoretically reset the world with them. Use them to restore magic to the land, or something similar.”

Titania nodded. “With those beings, it would be entirely in your power to once again lift the veil covering the eyes of the world, to bring back that which Merlin once sealed away. Yours would be a world of science and magic, a place capable of producing wonders both great and deadly.”

“But wouldn’t that just gather more ... attention?” Mike flicked his eyes upward for emphasis.

“It would.” Titania scowled so hard that she and the ground beneath her feet darkened in color. “The fae realm is considered a safe haven from the outsiders, but your world would cease to be. Should you choose to re-establish that which was lost, they will come for the mortal realm once again and I fear there would be no stopping them.”

“Why is your realm safe?” Mike asked.

“It was built long before your world dared to breathe, Caretaker. Whereas your world is carefully constructed from the fabric of time and space, ours simply is. The only way they could get to us is through your world. Even then, you would witness the Seelie and Unseelie united in a manner that has never occurred before. Our world is built on truths, and beings without shape or logic would have to conform.”

“So if they invaded you, they would die?”

“Death is a strange word for such creatures,” she replied. “Logically, they would simply return to the Between place they came from.”

“Why worry about what happens to my world?” he asked. “If your world is safe, that is?”

“Do you think we would not see a flood of creatures from your realm?” Titania shook her head. “The dragons were hard enough to accommodate, and they were wanted. Every creature in the fae realm is tied to the land in some way. It is part of our magic. Mortals, cryptids, and even divine beings would force themselves into my realm to escape annihilation. I cannot have gods wandering my realm and becoming tied to the land, Caretaker. It was never their world to begin with, and we would be forced to hunt them down as they begin acting on their own designs.”

“So war, then.” Mike nodded in understanding. “You really think they wouldn’t play nice?”

“Immortal beings never play nice,” she said. “Eternity is a long time to get along.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I have no desire to end my own world.” He looked out at the ocean and pondered the dark shapes out there. Here in the Dreamscape, they couldn’t hurt him. But in the real world? Would he be driven mad at the very sight of them? Could he even take one on? He had a vague recollection of the time he and Ratu destroyed a piece of one. Sometimes, when he was just drifting off to sleep, he remembered screaming until his throat was raw, stabbing at a piece of flesh that shrieked when he punctured one of its many eyes...

“Give them to me,” said Titania. Mike realized he had tuned her out, and turned in her direction. “My world would be a safe place for them.”

Mike contemplated the queen, wondering if this was just a suggestion of hers or a command. He really wished he hadn’t drifted there for a second. The air felt heavy with expectation now, and he wasn’t sure how to reply without offending her.

“The Kahu protected this treasure for generations,” he said. “And it has been in my care less than a full day. It would be wise to make any decision regarding their care only after speaking to the dragon and goddess who still guard them.”

Titania regarded him coolly for a moment, and he wondered if he had fucked up. Suddenly, the air felt light again, and the weird crimson light around her body faded.

“It’s a pity you aren’t fae,” she said, moving toward him with her hands clasped in front of her. She placed one hand on his chest and studied his eyes for several long moments. “If the court would allow it, I would make a proper consort of you.”

“I have other duties,” he replied. He inhaled her scent and was reminded of long summer days in fields of wheat, the tops of the grass tickling his chin as he ran from an oncoming storm. The memories weren’t his, but such things mattered not to the fae.

“As you do,” Titania whispered, then placed her lips to his. A shock ran through his body, and the Dreamscape fractured like wet sand, falling in clumps around him as light tore through the broken sky above, chasing the others back into the darkness.

Mike took a deep breath and awoke, his eyes scanning the room. Ingrid was sitting up in bed, clutching her temples and breathing slowly as Pele held a bottle of water for her to drink. Lily stood by Mike, fierce annoyance on her features as she stared at him. Ratu was on the edge of the bed, rubbing Ingrid’s ankles.

“It worked,” said Pele, her eyes on Mike. “You brought her back.” She sniffed the air and tilted her head to one side. “Why do you smell like honey?”

“That’s a good question.” Titania’s visitations were meant to be a secret, and he intended to keep them that way. He looked at Ingrid. “How are you feeling?”

“I have a splitting headache,” Ingrid whispered, then sipped some more water.

“She’s also dehydrated.” Pele helped Ingrid drink some more water. “You’ve been out for almost a day now.”

“Almost ... a day?” Ingrid looked up in confusion. “The last thing I remembered was seeing...”

Mike cleared his throat and sat next to the mage, then took her hand in his own. Even now, he couldn’t help but picture the small hands he had held in his mind not so long ago.

“You saw a dragon,” he said, watching Ingrid’s eyes widen in alarm. “She sensed you three crossing the boundary and retrieved you from the cave network to figure out who you were. Her name is Di, and she is very kind, and quite beautiful.”

“Her name is ... Di?” Ingrid looked at Pele next. “You’re not ... her, are you?”

Pele chuckled. “The dragon? No. She cannot take human form. I’m just an old woman who has been around a long time.”

“Ingrid.” Mike squeezed the woman’s hand. “You had quite the shock yesterday. Do you remember anything else?”

“I ... no?” She screwed up her face in concentration, then seemed to realize where they were. “Wait, you said we crossed the boundary? Are we here?”

“My property? Yes.” Mike studied Ingrid’s features, then looked past her physical appearance to her soul. The colors shifted and swirled around her, but he couldn’t help but notice there was a piece he hadn’t noticed before, sitting calmly at its center. “You are here, and you are safe.”

Ingrid took a deep breath and sat back against the bed, her eyes closing. “I’m safe.”

“You are.” He stood, the mood in the room suddenly shifting. “I have something I need to take care of and will be back in a bit. Is there someone who can bring her some food?”

Pele smiled at him. “It is already under control, Caretaker. Go. Have your meeting.”

Mike stepped outside and looked up into the cloudy sky above. It was raining on the other side of the volcano, the downpour forming into waterfalls on the opposite cliffs. He walked toward the edge of the precipice to get a better look. Down below in the lake, Mike noticed Leilani swimming wide circles in the steaming water.

“Is she safe doing that?” he wondered out loud.

“She is.” Ratu stepped out from the cabin to join him. She closed the door just as Lily tried to come through, the door squishing the succubus against the frame.

“Bitch.” Lily pouted, then squeezed the rest of the way through.

“Like I was saying, she is safe to swim there. This morning, she asked if there was anywhere she could swim and Pele gave her a special blessing that will protect her from the heat.” Ratu took Mike’s wrist. “What is the next move, Caretaker?”

He held out his fingers and ticked them off. “First, I want to go home and check in on everyone. It sounds like they have it under control, but I miss my kids. This has to be scary for them. Then I’m headed back to Paradise. I’ll need Leilani and Ingrid for that to clear my name with the Order and the merfolk. I also intend to tell the Director to get his people off my lawn before I sic the Jabberwock on them.”

“Preach.” Lily put her hands up and swayed. Ratu frowned at her, the scales on her neck shifting in irritation.

“We don’t need the Order anymore. They’ve done their part. The house is connected to here, now, which allows us to tackle our next task. While I’m talking with the Director, someone needs to get Beth out. When we’re done, we’ll swing by the house again and kick ass if we need to.” Mike sighed. “And then we can come back here and figure out how to knock Jack Sparrow’s teeth in.”

“Who?” asked Ratu.

“Sorry, just another stupid nickname for Captain Francois.” Mike didn’t bother mentioning that Jack Sparrow would be upset that Ratu had never heard of him. “He might have an army of skeletons and a giant squid, but I’ll be damned if I let him get that clutch.”

“I like this side of you, Romeo.” Lily leaned into Mike and stroked his bicep through his shirt. “I can think of something fun for us to do while everyone else gets ready.”

“Ahem.” Ratu was now openly glaring at Lily. “I think it would be prudent to—”

“Ugh, I hate that word. Prude.” Lily smirked and stepped away from Mike. “But the snake is right, we should get moving.”

Ratu made a soft hissing sound in the back of her throat, her tongue slipping free to taste the air for just a moment. “Are you trying to antagonize me?” she demanded.

Lily shrugged. “I’m just being me, the girl who had to stay behind and watch the fucking master suite instead of sitting on the beach with a mai tai and a team of servants.”

“This has hardly been a—” Ratu’s eyes widened when Mike cut her off.

“The answer is yes,” he said. “She is trying to antagonize you. Lily, since you’re the fastest one here, will you fly down and let Leilani and Quetzalli know the plan? Oh, and if Leilani isn’t too heavy for you to carry, I would appreciate it if you gave her a lift back up here.”

Lily snorted. “Oh, so I’m just your servant girl, now? What’s in it for me?”

“Quetzalli is in the temple with Di. It will give you the perfect excuse to meet her.”

Lily’s wings extended from her back and she smirked. “Okay, Romeo, you’ve got a deal. Excuse me, snake girl, I’m off to meet a motherfucking dragon.” She ran toward the nearest precipice and threw herself off, her leathery wings extending wide to ride the thermals. After making a partial circle, she folded into a dive and vanished.

“She’s annoying,” Ratu sniffed.

“Sometimes. But her heart is always in the right place.” Mike turned his attention to Ratu. “But I want to know what’s going on with you. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you this on edge.”

Ratu turned her head away and scowled. “I spent decades underground, Caretaker. Decades in a place where I thought nobody could ever hurt me. I finally leave that safe place only to be hunted by a skeleton army and have another army move onto our front lawn. The timing of all these things feels ... deliberate.”

“Do you think the others can’t handle what’s going on at home?” he asked.

Ratu glared at him, her eyes narrowing into serpentine slits. “I don’t doubt their abilities,” she declared. “But I do wonder what we’re missing. Everything that’s happening now starts with Captain Francois coming for the eggs. The why of this doesn’t matter. Rather, I’m interested in why now?”

Mike shrugged. “Why ever? Master and Commander douche canoe picked now. It doesn’t have to make sense.”

“No, that’s not quite what I mean!” Ratu stomped her foot, and tiny flames actually squirted from her clenched fists. “I hate being this flustered!”

“I get that.” Mike stomped out an errant flame that had reached the ground. “But keep talking to help me understand.”

“Why did he do it this way? Why bring some behemoth from the ocean, knowing full well there was a guardian here who could fight it?” Ratu gestured toward the middle of the volcano. “Did he really assume that his beast was suddenly strong enough to defeat Di? He had to know that the Order would get involved!”

“But Lily says the Order didn’t even know who the Captain was, so it wouldn’t make sense that they’re—” He stopped and stared at Ratu, his jaw suddenly slack.

“He knew they would get involved,” she said, her eyes becoming more human. “He had to. His history with the merfolk means he can’t have been ignorant of their presence.”

“And the attack triggered the Order’s involvement, which inevitably lead to me coming out here. But why would he want me here? Doesn’t that make getting the eggs harder?”

“Not if he kills you.” Ratu took Mike by the hand. “If he kills you, this place becomes his, yes?”

“But how could he know that the Order would actually succeed in getting me here?” Mike chewed at his lip and stared at Ratu. “If he master-minded this whole thing, how did he even know who I was?”

“He couldn’t have.” Ratu’s pupils widened. “Didn’t Leilani say they were surprised to learn you weren’t a woman? He would have told them that if he knew.”

“Why now, indeed?” Something about his situation was meant to be a trap, but set by who? Was he supposed to be here in Hawaii, still? Or was he supposed to rush home? If the Captain and the Director weren’t working together, why had their plans synced up so nicely to fuck him over?

“Is there someone else?” Ratu asked. “A third party?”

Mike shook his head. “If there is, then who? We banished Amir to the shadow realm, but I suppose some society assholes could still be around. This level of coordination feels a bit advanced for a group of people who decided their best strategy was to flood my lawn with idiots, which is exactly what is happening now. And if there is a third party, what’s the play? Do they want Francois to get the eggs? Or do they want something in the house?”

“The Grimoire would be a more preferable prize than the eggs,” she said. “Unless someone else has a Dragon Seed, which I guess is possible.”

“But it’s not like someone can just take the eggs. This whole setup was built using the body of a deity along with the Architect. So if they’re coming for the eggs, then maybe it’s to destroy them.”

“Perhaps. I don’t like this, Mike. The longer I think about it...”

He shook his head and took Ratu by the hand. “Hey, look. Even just knowing that someone else may be pulling strings gives us an edge. When this asshole inevitably pops up to announce their grand victory, instead of being surprised and listening to their inevitable monologue, you can feed them a fireball.”

“I guess.”

The two of them walked back to the cabana in silence, Mike pondering the whole time. What was the real target here, the eggs or the house? Was it both? Neither? Was it him? Was some third party making an attempt on his other properties? When he got home, he would have someone check in with Bigfoot. As for the castle in Ireland, anyone trying to break in would get an even worse surprise than he had.

Back at the cabana, Ratu packed up what little they had used last night. Mike took a quick look through his own bag, pausing long enough to pull out a fresh pair of shorts and a clean shirt. The potions Zel had given him were safely wrapped in some socks he had packed. After triple-checking that the lid of the Mandragora potion was still good, he moved the potions back into his bag and zipped it shut.

While changing his clothes, he noticed Ratu watching him out of the corner of her eye once his pants were off. Mike let out a theatrical yawn and stretched, making sure to arch his back. He put on a big show of rubbing his abs through the naga skin tunic, then winked in her direction and then did a little belly dance for her.

“Weather’s nice,” he said.

“Mmhmm.” Her gaze dropped to his cock. “Maybe colder than usual.”

Mike snorted. “If you’re worried about how chilly I am, I can think of an activity to warm us up.”

Ratu held up a hand and summoned crackling flames. She arched an eyebrow at him.

“Not that way,” he hastily added. Ratu looked past him and released the flames, her hand moving over her mouth. Mike turned to see Pele standing behind him, her molten eyes locked on his crotch.

“Ah. Um...” Mike grabbed the hem of the naga shirt and pulled, the fabric stretching down to not quite cover his genitals. When he realized it was insufficient, he turned around, but then remembered Pele was likely looking at his bare ass. Clearing his throat, he found his boxers and stepped into them. “Sorry you had to see that.”

“I’m not.” Pele chuckled and the ground vibrated beneath his feet. “I assure you that it is nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Yeah, well...” He cleared his throat. “My apologies. We were just having some fun.”

“Don’t stop on my account.” Pele sat on a nearby chair. “So, you intend to leave for a bit?”

“I do,” he said. “I need to check in with my family and then clear my name with the Order. We shouldn’t be gone long. Once we return, I’m hoping my full focus can be here.”

“Good.” Pele studied him for a few moments, and he could see golden light sparkle throughout her pupils. “Will you bring your family here?”

“I will. I think they would like this place.” He gestured at the cabana. “My kids will want to explore the area, if you think that’s safe.”

“With a suitable guide, yes, it will be.” Pele smiled and closed her eyes. “It will be so nice to hear the sounds of a family in this place once again. This place was never meant to suffer the silence of a tomb.”

“It certainly won’t.” Mike walked over to the edge of the cliffs and looked down. Lily had wrapped her arms around Leilani’s waist and was flapping her wings uselessly in an attempt to lift her. “How long do you think it will be before she gives up?”

“Hmm?” Ratu joined him on the rim and laughed. The succubus seemed to sense them watching and renewed her flapping. Leilani looked up at the demon and shouted something, which caused Lily to drop her back into the lake. Visibly flustered, Lily grabbed onto the mermaid’s torso and tried to pull her free of the water. This devolved into another shouting match, which ended when the mermaid pulled Lily out of the sky and dunked her.

“I’ll go get them,” said Ratu with a grin. “Otherwise, we’ll be waiting here all day.” The naga moved toward the edge of the cliff and jumped over the side, her body twisting and expanding into serpentine form. She slid through the thick foliage, the trees shaking and bending as she pushed them aside and gained speed. Moments later, Ratu shot out of a gap in the trees at the bottom, jaws open wide and fangs bared as she practically belly flopped on top of the succubus and the mermaid.

From the edge of the cliff, Mike heard both Leilani and Lily shriek in terror. Behind him, the goddess of fire laughed.

Half an hour later and half a world away, Mike emerged from the portal in his laundry room closet and stepped through the plain wooden door that had been painted the same color as the rest of the room. Had it always been here and he hadn’t noticed? Or had the house somehow expanded again?

Those were thoughts to ponder later. He stepped away from the door to allow Lily and Ratu through. Leilani and Ingrid remained behind—Mike wasn’t ready yet to bring them into his home.

“Caretaker.” Reggie was waiting for them, his whiskers twitching in anticipation.

“Good afternoon.” Mike knelt down and extended a finger to shake the Rat King’s paw. “Can you get a secondary portal set up between the new place and Paradise? I need to get Leilani and Ingrid there directly without using the house. We’ll also need some safeguards so that the Order doesn’t backtrack us through.”

“Here.” Lily knelt down and handed over a piece of paper. “I’ve marked some rooms at the resort that are special use and will be safe. Nobody is scheduled to use them.”

“Of course.” Reggie turned to a small contingent of armed rodents who stood nearby. He made a few squeaks and gestures before one of them ran off. “It should be ready by the time you leave.”

“Great.” Mike stood and gazed down at the tiny king. “How have things been here?”

“Terrible.” Reggie led the way, walking at Mike’s side. “We’re keeping a very close watch on the front yard. The SoS has posted snipers at strategic locations, which greatly limits who can be involved in the battle ahead. Death went out this morning to see how they would react and was shot at, so we suspect lethal force has been encouraged.”

“Damn.” Mike moved to the nearest window and looked outside. “That sure is a lot of people.” He waved at them to see if anyone would wave back. When they didn’t, he caught himself ready to flip them the finger. Clearly, Ratu wasn’t the only one battling intrusive thoughts. That, or Lily was rubbing off on both of them.

Reggie nodded. “With more on the way. Eulalie believes this is less than half their force, but isn’t sure why the others haven’t arrived yet. As of now, the fae are our primary resource. Sulyvahn and Cecilia cannot be harmed by mortal weapons and capturing them will be very difficult. Cerberus is also immune, as is the Jabberwock. Dana asked to be more involved with the coming battle, but there’s a very real fear she may get struck by explosive ordinance, which would be messy. Jenny has a pretty tight leash on the situation, but I’m sure you can imagine it’s a bit ... unsettling.”

“I see.” Mike sighed. “What about Yuki and Abella?”

“What about me?” Yuki stood at the end of the hallway, just outside the dining room. She smiled in his direction, but looked very tired.

“Just wondering what role you had to play is all.” He moved in to give her a hug when a small mass slammed into him.

“Dad!” Callisto, in human form, had wrapped his arms around Mike’s waist so tight that it actually hurt. Moments later, Grace dropped down from above and grabbed him from the other side.

“Hey.” Mike knelt down to properly hug both of them. When he stood, he held Grace in one arm. “Are you two being good?”

“There are bad guys in our front yard.” There was both excitement and fear in Callisto’s voice. “They’re planning to hurt Aunt Naia!”

Grace hissed her agreement, then leaned in to nibble on Mike’s hair.

“I’m surprised to see you two here.” Mike looked into his son’s eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to be with your mom?”