Chapter 5

I followed Rachel out to the parking lot. She stopped next to an expensive-looking car. What I didn’t get was why she had chosen black. It had to be almost a hundred degrees already. The interior was going to be an oven.

She noticed how I was looking at her car. “Don’t worry. The tinted windows keep the sunlight from directly hitting the seats. You’ll only lose the first layer of skin.” She grinned, but I didn’t feel it. She noticed and stopped on the driver’s side. “Are you okay?”

I nodded to hide my anxiety and reached for the door handle. Rachel popped the locks and got in on her side. I climbed in, wondering how I would convince her that I didn’t need the clinic without having to show her my hand. I was right about the car’s interior, but the expensive vehicle came with a high-priced air conditioning system that quickly cooled everything to comfort.

We pulled out of the parking lot and sat at an intersection with South Cooper. Rachel watched the traffic and the light. I tried to think of an excuse not to go to the clinic. “We don’t have to go to the clinic, do we?” I asked.

She glanced at me. “Why?”

I shrugged. “Just seems like overkill. I’ve had cuts before. A little Neosporin and some bandages and I’ll be fine in a few days.”

She looked at me. “Ral, that’s not going to be enough, you need to let a doctor look at it.” She studied me for a second and asked, “Do you have problems with hospitals?”

To a certain degree, yes, but not for a simple cut. I knew I’d be in and out in a couple of hours, barring the need for stitches.

What was I thinking? I didn’t need stitches. “No,” I said finally. “I don’t want to waste their time. I mean the cut’s already stopped bleeding.”

“Then what’s that?” she asked nodding at my hand.

I looked down and understood her meaning. “Oh, well ... I’m still using the same napkins Grace packed my hand with.”

Rachel rolled her eyes and looked up at the lit green light. After turning onto Cooper, she asked, “Why didn’t you get clean paper towels?”

I shrugged and looked out the passenger window. “I wasn’t thinking. But I’m not bleeding anymore.”

Her voice got quiet. “Is there something you’re not telling me?” She reminded me of when she told me her secret in the café, which was probably on purpose.

I looked at her. For a second I almost confessed, but I remembered not believing her secret. Yes, I had proof that my hand had healed but that didn’t change my doubt about her wings.

The real question was could I trust her? I knew a few general facts about her, but I didn’t know her. We hadn’t talked that much, so she might have been perfectly trustworthy, but I had known Eric and Ellen for years and never told either of them about what I could see. I didn’t plan to tell anyone about my hand, and if I didn’t feel comfortable telling them my secrets, why would I tell Rachel about it or about me seeing auras?

Rachel’s aura was soft around the edges and gently shifting with her reactions to the drivers around us. Her blonde hair partially hid her face from my view, but I could see her sky-blue eyes as they tracked the changes on the road. I really couldn’t put my finger on it, but her radiance was breathtaking. She glowed with beauty and even her bright gold aura couldn’t add to it.

She glanced at me. “Are you going to tell me?” she asked in that same soft, secretive voice.

Did I want to tell her my secret? Yes. Why? Because I wanted to impress her. Would it work? I had no idea. “Find a place to park,” I said.

She glanced at me. A minute later, we were in the parking lot of my dorm. She turned to look at me and waited.

I was hesitant. I wanted to show her my hand and didn’t. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the napkins out of my hand and held it open, palm up, so she could see where the cut used to be.

Her reaction was not what I had expected. She simply looked at my hand and then looked up at me.

I closed my hand around the napkins again and blinked at her, confused by her non-reaction. I mentally shook myself. “Well?” I asked.

She arched an eyebrow. “Well ... I’m wondering why you refused to tell me about this back in the café.”

“You’re right, but...” I held up my hand, “this wasn’t it.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Wait, if that wasn’t your secret...?”

I closed my eyes, not sure what else to say. What had I just done? I shook my head. “Forget it. I don’t know if I can do this.” I turned toward my door, ready to leave.

She reached over and laid her hand on my shoulder. “Ral, wait.” I looked at her again and she waved at my previously cut hand. “How am I supposed to forget what you’ve shown me?”

I swallowed. I wanted to pull away from her yet I ached to hold her hand, to maintain the contact between us. Why did my emotions have to fill me with such conflicting urges? I wanted to exit Rachel’s car, to put distance between her questions about my secret and myself, yet I wanted her to touch me again or to work up the courage to touch her myself. I opened my mouth to try to explain, but closed it, unsure of how to put my thoughts into words.

“I know what you’re going through,” she said softly. The look on her face and the shifts in her aura didn’t mirror the conflict I was feeling. She looked sympathetic, but her thoughts weren’t the same as mine. “I have problems talking about my secret too,” she said.

I looked away. She was right about that. I’d never talked about my secret, the aura secret anyway. The healing secret was so new, so unbelievable that I needed to confirm it with someone. “Then you don’t think I’m a freak?”

She laughed softly and I looked at her again. She shook her head. “I’m the one with additional appendages and you think you’re the freak?”

I frowned, not certain why she found that funny.

She stifled her laughter and studied my face. “Now do you understand why you need to talk about this?”

I watched her, unsure of how I felt.

“I can help,” she said.

I shook my head in a small movement. “Why would you want to help me?”

“Because I know the burden,” she said. “But I’ve had people to talk to since I discovered my secret, friends and family, people who care. From what I’ve been told, you don’t.”

“How could you possibly know that?” I asked.

“My friend,” she said, “the one who told me that you had a secret. He’s very good at collecting information.”

My brow furrowed. I wanted to ask what his secret was, but it seemed rude.

“Tell you what,” she said, “If you tell me what your secret is, I’ll take you to meet him.”

I stared at her all that more uncertain about how I felt. This was too much too fast. I shook my head. “No,” I said. My voice was steady and confident. “You said you could prove you had wings but not at the café.” I lowered my volume to the same soft, secretive tone she had used earlier. “Show me your wings.”

She studied my expression for a moment and then looked around. It reminded me of how she had acted back in the café, afraid someone might hear us. She looked at me again and shook her head. “I can’t, not here.”

I glanced at my dorm. “If you don’t want anyone else to see, we can go up to my room.”

She shook her head. “And listen to the entire dorm wolf whistling at me? No thanks. Besides, what would your roommate say?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t have one when I left to meet you.”

She shook her head again and put the car in gear. “It’s not worth the risk.”

We pulled out of the parking lot, passing a small group of students. They pointed and fell over each other ogling the car. With the tinted windows, I didn’t think they could see the radiant blonde driving. Would it bother me if they had? I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t be sure. Would it bother her? That was a better question.

I expected her to take us somewhere quiet, away from home, and without any watching eyes. If we were back in Virginia, I could have rattled off half a dozen places that worked, but in such a large city with so many people around and me being completely new to the area, I didn’t know any place that would meet those requirements. I was surprised when we pulled into the parking area of an apartment complex. “Where are we?”

“My place,” she said, pulling into a parking space. She cut the engine. “C’mon,” she said and got out.

I climbed out and followed her. Rachel’s aura had a subdued shiver of fear in it. It seemed as if the closer we got to her showing me her wings, the worse she felt. “We can go somewhere else if you’d rather me not be in your place,” I offered.

She turned with her hand on the knob. In her soft, secretive voice, she said, “I’m most comfortable letting my wings out here.” I nodded in understanding and she went inside.

I took a deep breath and stepped inside as if I was jumping into a pool too deep and too rough to swim in. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but I was sure I’d soon find out.

Her apartment was big for one person. There was a long corner couch, coffee table, and end tables to one side of the main living area and a television standing on an entertainment center in the opposite corner. Shelves of movies and music stood to the left of that. Otherwise, there was nothing else, no decorations, and no pictures. It also felt like the apartment was only decorated to be shown off; as if this was the apartment the complex used when a prospective tenant wanted to see what they could be living in. It told me something about Rachel. She didn’t feel the need to show more than what was necessary. Maybe she didn’t watch much TV or listen to music. Maybe she worked too much to worry about it. Maybe I should stop assuming and just get back to the reason we were there in the first place.

I looked at Rachel and the shiver of fear in her aura had grown. She wasn’t fully willing to do this, but she was determined to go through with it anyway. “Rachel, you don’t have to do this.”

She looked at me. Her eyebrows rose, and the shiver of fear in her aura eased back some. Hope blossomed on her face. “But you wanted to see my wings,” she said. Her voice was steady and confident, but her aura said she didn’t want to do this.

I sighed. Was she leaving this completely up to me? “I didn’t think it would be so hard for you.”

She tilted her head slightly. “What do you mean?”

I looked at her aura again. The fear was still there, but there was something else, an ambiguous emotion. “I can tell how nervous you are. The way you talked back at the café, I didn’t think this would bother you so much.”

She stared at me. “I told you I didn’t like talking about my secret, did you think showing you would be easier?”

I frowned. “You also said you have people you talk to about it.”

“Yes, I do,” she said. “But I don’t uncase my wings very often.”

I sighed. “Why would your friend send you to talk to me if he knew you had a problem showing others your wings? Isn’t that a little backward?”

She crossed her arms under her breasts. “If you don’t want to see my wings, why are we here?”

I shrugged, turned, and went to the door. I stopped with my hand on the knob. “You want me to trust you,” I said and looked back at her. “Yet you get upset when it comes time to prove that your secret is legit.”

“I’m not upset,” she said.

I waved at her. “Look at yourself. You’re tense, you’ve crossed your arms – a defensive posture – and you’re snapping. What am I supposed to think?”

She looked up at the ceiling, dropped her arms to her sides, and I thought I saw her quietly counting to ten too. The anger in her aura slipped away and she visibly relaxed. When she looked at me again, I took my hand off the doorknob and leaned against the wall. “Better?” she asked and I nodded.

I didn’t know how to encourage her without making her mad again. Maybe if she talked about it first. I looked over at the couch. “Let’s sit down. You can tell me about your wings.” I moved toward the couch and turned to look at her.

Rachel stood her ground. She met my eyes and said, “You say you could tell how scared I was, but do you know why?” I shook my head and she nodded. “I’m nervous because there have been a few ... people who’ve seen my wings by accident and it never went well.” Her eyes drifted away, seeing something I couldn’t.

I knew she was leaving something out, something that made her meaning more profound. Unfortunately, unless she told me, there was no way to know. What I did know was that she was angry and hurt, sad and lonely. All of those emotions were there for me to see and I understood exactly what she was feeling. Outwardly, she looked rigid. She was trying to keep her emotions in check, but it wasn’t enough to hide them from me. Regardless of her earlier confidence, she had allowed me to enter more than just her apartment, even if she didn’t know it.

I didn’t think she would talk about those profound details with me any time soon. I was as much of a stranger to her as she was to me, but if she was supposed to get me to open up about my secret, to share it with her, then I needed to know that her secret was true. It seemed like the best course of action now was to get her to talk about her wings. “Can I ask you something about your wings?”

She looked at me again, anger and pain apparent, but she nodded and blinked away the thoughts running through her head.

“You said your wings come out of your back,” I said. “Does it hurt?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Have you ever hurt anyone else when you showed your wings, accidentally or otherwise?” I asked.

She shook her head even more. “No.”

I studied her eyes, those bright sky-blue orbs. I couldn’t stand there and remain emotionless. It was impossible to look into those eyes and feel nothing. However, her pain continued to taint her mood. I swallowed, not wanting to be the cause of more pain. “I have to admit, I don’t know what to say to make this any easier for you.”

Her eyes clouded over. Her face darkened. Her fear picked up in her aura.

“But,” I added, “I will promise that I won’t cause you any more grief.” I stepped closer. “In the café, you were disappointed because I didn’t believe you. Now I have a better understanding as to why. You hoped that I could just accept your secret without needing to see it for myself. You’ve already seen my hand. I only showed you because I was ... well I’m still having problems believing it. I only ask that you offer me the same thing.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. An expression came over her face. Regardless of her nerves, she looked peaceful. Her aura followed that line of thinking and softened, making it look like she was suddenly asleep while standing on her feet. Before I could ask what was going on, a flash of light filled the room. It was bright, strong, and completely unexpected.

I stumbled back and landed on the couch. “What was that?” I asked. I blinked my eyes and tried to focus on Rachel, the room, anything.