"Becky," said June swatting her on the arm, "Pay attention!" Becky snapped out her day dream and focused on the professor again. God she had to pay more attention. She'd been having trouble concentrating ever since she broke up with her boyfriend Brian. It wasn't like he'd broken her heart, it was just time to end it, but she missed him and still thought about him when she went to bed.

She could have found another boyfriend; she knew she was certainly pretty enough. At twenty years old, she had the traditional Japanese figure; 32B-22-32, 5'3, less than a hundred pounds, and long black hair. Sometimes wished her breasts were bigger, she wondered if she was built more like her cousin Terri then maybe she and Brian would still be...

"We'll be looking into that tomorrow," said the professor shutting off her PowerPoint display.

'Shit!' thought Becky, 'It happened again.'

When the class was over Becky saw that she had half as many notes as June. June noticed this as well and signed.

"I suppose you'd like to go over this lesson tonight too."

"Thanks, that'd be great." Becky relaxed a little.

"It'd be easy if you just paid more attention."

"Easier said than done. It's not like I can just flip a switch."

"Maybe it is."

"What do you mean?" Asked Becky sounding a little confused.

"Well when I quit smoking I went to see this hypnotist, Dr. Lewis Kinsore. He really helped me."

"I always thought of that as a little like acupuncture."

"Then it should appeal to someone named Rebecca Yan."

"I mean," said Becky giving June a playful shove, "I've never been convinced it works. Beside, I'm not Japanese, I'm American."

"I know, I know," said June, "Anyways it's amazing. It's like slipping to a fantasy world and when you wake up you're a different person. "After a session with him I when from a pack a day to none. After a few sessions with him I didn't even want a cigarette."

"Come on?" asked Becky sceptically. She'd never smoked herself but had friends who tried everything to quit.

"I'm serious. He's a little unorthodox but he works. Oh and he only sees people by recommendation. Shall I give him a call?"

So less than a week later Becky sat in Dr. Kinsore's waiting room wearing a light blue pullover short sleeve blouse, white Capri pants, and her hair was tied back in a ponytail. She was starting to feel very nervous about this... Even now she found it hard to focus on one thing.

'Won't be long now, ' she thought, but in her heart she didn't believe this would work. 'Oh well, what do I have to lose?'

A very tall man entered the room in a conservative dark suit, he wore plain glasses and his hair was styled but short. Everything about seemed non-descript except his size. He was at least 6'6". He didn't smile but this seemed more to represent a very serious demeanour rather than a sense of unfriendliness.

"Becky Yan?" he asked.

"Uh yes," She said standing and realizing she only came halfway up his chest. ""Yes... that's right. Nice to meet you, Doctor..."

"Lewis. Please. My office is this way." He lead her down one of the halls "May I call you Becky?"

"Um... well... sure... I just want you to know that I'm very nervous about this, I've never been hypnotized before."

Kinsore opened a heavy door to an office with walls lined in dark oak. The curtains were drawn and the lights dimmed. Thick plants were bunched in one corner. A very comfortable looking leather sofa sat in the middle of the room, it was the sort of thing the stereotypical therapist had his patients lay on while talking about their childhood. Becky also noticed a green thumb tack on the ceiling directly over the sofa. The room was humid and warm.

"A lot of people are nervous their first time. But just relax and everything will be fine. Now please lie on the couch and look at the spot on the ceiling."

"Oh... I was wondering about the thumbtack." She laughed and took a deep breath. "Is this a long process?" She asked setting into the sofa, it was surprisingly comfortable.

Kinsore turned on some soft new age music; it was so faint that Becky could barely hear it.

"It will take a few hours but you won't notice, it will be a little like going to sleep. When you wake up you'll feel like a different person. Now I want you to imagine that you're standing at the top of long staircase looking at the bottom..."

Becky nodded her head, picturing the staircase. She took another deep breath, and wondered what being hypnotized would feel like... if she'd remember any of it.

"As you move down the steps you feel yourself becoming more and more relaxed. You feel lighter and lighter Becky. You're now half way down the steps." Becky felt herself descending... going lower and lower... deeper and deeper...

"At the bottom of the steps is warm pool of water. You notice that you're not wearing anything Becky and you slip into the warm water you feel all your cares and concerns slip away from you. You're totally relaxed..." Easing into the water... oh, so warm and inviting... so wonderful... so relaxing...

"3... 2... 1... Wake up Becky. How do you feel?" Becky opened her eyes, shook her head. "Oh... oh, my goodness... is... is it over? Was I really out? Amazing..." she sat up, rubbing my head. The lights were still dim but turned up a little more. Kinsore smiled her.

"Yes. You've been out for almost two hours. Now I need to tell you something. You can't tell anyone what we do here. Do you understand?"

"What are you talking about? Can't tell anyone? Why?" Confused.

"Becky," said Kinsore ignoring the question, "do you understand that you must never tell anyone about what we do together?"

"Yes, I understand that I can't tell, but I don't know why... what are you talking about?" It was as thought Kinsore couldn't hear any of Becky's questions

"Becky, do you like to masturbate?"

Becky's mouth opened wide in shock at such a brazen, rude, awful question. In her mind she imagined telling him off, and threatening to report him to the authorities, but what comes out was, "Well, I'm not a chronic masturbator, but I do think it feels good."

Becky's eyes opened wider. 'Why did I say that?' Kinsore smiled even more; Pleased by your answer. "How often do you masturbate?"

Becky tried hard to stop herself from talking, this couldn't be happening. She couldn't talk about things like that with some strange man, NO!

"Not terribly often. Usually it's when I can't get to sleep at night, or something. It helps me to relax..."

"I see. What do you like to think about when you do this?" Kinsore sounded so maddening clinical about this, as though asking about insurance.

Becky felt like an animal in a trap, 'No, oh, no... I... can't... mustn't... answer... must... fight it... '

What she said was, "Different things... sometimes it's really great sex I had. Sometimes, I imagine that a bunch of young boys are peeking through my window watching me, or even... for some reason... my cousin Terri's breasts pop into my mind. Isn't that strange?"

'OH, MY GOD, NO, THIS HAS TO STOP, I CAN'T TALK ABOUT ALL THIS, NOOOO!!!' she couldn't believe it, she'd never told anyone about that.

"Well its a little taboo but I think it's rather common. Have you seen your cousin Terri's breasts often?

"Once in a while," said Becky "We were born only 5 days apart, so we've always been close... we slept over at each other's houses a lot. I've seen her change clothes many times..." Oh, god, oh, god... this wasn't fair... how was he doing this?

"Have you ever touched her while she was asleep? Have you ever wanted to or thought about it?" Kinsore didn't seem particularly interested in the her answer, as though this were some sort of interview.

Becky shook her head. "No, it's not really occurred to me to sneak and do it, but I have wondered from time to time what they might feel like..." Becky felt like her face was on fire. No one... in the whole world... knew any of these things. A girl is supposed to have her own private thoughts... this was like mind rape.

"What about your immediate family. Have you seen them naked?"

'No, no, leave my family out of this, you bastard.'

"I've seen my sisters naked lots of times. I've only seen my mother completely naked once that I can remember."

"Now what size are their tits would you say?" Kinsore did smile at the way his profanity made her even more uncomfortable. Becky got a disgusted look on her face from the vulgar reference, she knew he could see the struggle to keep her my mouth shut, but she went on talking as if discussing ordinary things with a friend.

"Oh, we're all pretty small breasted on our side of the family. Denise, who's 16, is just a B cup like me, and Sharon who is 14, is just an A. My mother is only a B, too..."